Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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