Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
