he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize
