I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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