I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
