You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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