Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
