make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
