You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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