I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I want to be your penis for a week.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
