he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
