i was born a porn star she said
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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