Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
