how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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