I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize