so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
