Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
