Only a mothe r could love this liver
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
