yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I have fence marks all over my body
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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