i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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