I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize
