the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
