the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
