i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
