how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dignity is for republicans.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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