How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I met the friendliest cop last night
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
