I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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