Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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