I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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