i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
