My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize