I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
