Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
