I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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