oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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