in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
