Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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