You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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