if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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