I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
my liver is dry heaving
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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