After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
