Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
