I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I deserve this hangover.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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