We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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