if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
