you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
try to milk me bitch
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
