if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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