i don't like sucking hair
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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