Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
