Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wish i was in the wii world.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize