we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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