I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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