Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize