i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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