You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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