I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Apparently you make a good broom.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
