Well douche your snatch and let's go!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Are we still banned from the library?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
