Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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