it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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