waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
