Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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