just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
